Last Words From an Artist (for now)

Its Saturday August 9th, 2025. So this is my last full day at home. Tomorrow we'll head for a hotel near the hospital. Our arrival time is 5am on Monday morning. Today I'm rearranging the studio to allow me easier access to things. I've put a long table next to the bed that will have my laptop on it, a television, snacks, and meds. So I'll at least be ready to come home. I've begun to pack a bag for the hospital. I want to be able to rest tomorrow and then just move on to the hotel at the end of the day. I'll have projects that are not finished in the studio. But this will give me something to look forward to. Mind you I won't be idle. The computer is loaded with software to allow me to at least create digital art while I'm down.

My original intention was to leave a short list of requirements for what to do with my art, notes, class outlines, etc. But I decided it would be too much like giving up, so I nixed that plan. Billy will know what to do. I just don't want my art to be forgotten. Nothing is sadder to me than that.

My thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes yesterday. It was appreciated. I've always been low key about birthdays but this one particular with heart surgery a few days later and hitting the big 6-0 just seemed like something I'd prefer to forget.

Billy and I have had some interesting conversations about death and afterlife. My beliefs are not the norm for sure. So I am not afraid of it and to be honest I've been watching for some signs that I'll be crossing over and I've seen none of them. So I feel reasonably assured that this is not the time.

This is the second time I've come close to death and Billy Martin saved me the first time. Love will conquer this also.

My goal for the coming days is to stay in the "Artists Mind" as much as possible. There is healing energy in creativity. The more any of us stay in this zone, the better we are.

Life is so fraught problems, tragedies and petty conflicts that we lose our focus easily. For years I've lived in the Artists Mind as much as I could. Its allowed me to excel in an area that I had no formal training in and develop ideas, techniques, new mediums, that I never could if I was focused on other things. I've been fortunate that way.

But this may be the biggest challenge ever to staying in the Artists Mind. But I'm going to do it. As I am put to sleep before they open me up, I plan to have my last thoughts to be of creativity. If I die, then perhaps it will be push me to another level of creative existence. If I live, it will no doubt change me and make me a better artist.

Well we shall see.

So friends, this is all for now. I'll post on the flip side once I'm strong enough to do so.

 

Much love to all

-Grey-

PS

Someone spit on trump for me, if you can get close enough.